This retirement planning gap is ‘hidden in plain sight’

For many people, planning for retirement is about money: how to invest, how much to save, when to apply for Social Security, how best to withdraw funds from accounts.

Finances in retirement are a source of acute fear. About 2 out of 3 people worry According to a recent Allianz Life survey, it’s more about lack of money than death.

However, according to experts, there is a noticeable lack of attention and concern for the social aspect of retirement.

It’s an aspect of retirement planning that is almost “hidden in plain sight,” said Robert Waldinger, clinical professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School.

Waldinger is the fourth director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, which began in 1938. This study, the longest of its kind, found thousands Americans throughout their lives and across generations over the past 86 years.

The main and perhaps surprising finding: Having good relationships – whether with partners, friends, family or others – is the “strongest predictor” of living a long, healthy and happy life in old age, more so than health. factors such as high blood pressure and cholesterol levels, Waldinger said.

Money is the “obvious” focus when it comes to retirement planning, Waldinger said.

“[But] if you want to be happy, it’s not about money,” he added.

In other words: “Social connections are really good for us” and “loneliness kills.” Waldinger said in a 2015 TED talk entitled “What Makes a Good Life?” This is one of most viewed TED talks.

Relationships play a big role in preventing and relieving stress.

According to Waldinger, when someone is stressed, their body goes into “fight or flight” mode, causing reactions such as an increased heart rate.

Having someone to talk to, or even complain to at the end of the day about a particular stressor, helps the body calm down and return to balance, he says.

Those who cannot do this remain in low-level fight or flight mode. Higher levels of stress hormones such as cortisol disrupt the body’s systems, increase inflammation and contribute to health problems such as arthritis, diabetes, heart disease and weakened immune function, Waldinger says.

According to him, loneliness and isolation are stressors in themselves.

The impact of social fragmentation on mortality it’s like smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day, the US surgeon general said in a 2023 report on the country’s “epidemic” of loneliness.

Stressors “wreak havoc on our bodies in many different ways,” says David Sbarra, professor of psychology and director of the Social Connection and Health Laboratory at the University of Arizona.

People also often try to regulate the negative effects of stress through alcohol, smoking or drug use, which is another pathway to adverse health effects, Sbarra said.

On the contrary, the presence of wider social networks and greater social activity delays and slows down For example, cognitive decline, Waldinger said. A Harvard study found that married people also live longer than their single counterparts: on average, 5 to 12 years longer for women and 7 to 17 years longer for men.

The transition to retirement “is a stressful time,” Sbarra said.

Firstly, there was a “revolution” associated with a change of identity. Retirees are completing one chapter of their lives and must choose the contours of the next chapter, he said.

This stress can become chronic if people fail to cope well with the transition, and physical health can suffer as a result, he added.

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Relationships and the quality of those connections “play a key role” in regulating stress, Sbarra says. But the bulk of many people’s needs for intimate relationships can be met at work, he said. In such cases, retirement takes away these interactions.

“Some people say, ‘It’s too late for me’ to make new social connections,” Waldinger said.

“One thing we know from research is that it’s not too late. People make all kinds of new connections and friendships as they get older, at all stages of life,” he added.

Experts say finances have a certain impact on your happiness in retirement.

“You need to have your [financial needs] met,” Waldinger said.

A lack of strong social connections is a cause of stress, as is a lack or perceived lack of financial resources, says Yochai Shavit, research director at Stanford University’s Center for Longevity.

However, if the goal of retirement is to live a happy, healthy and fulfilling life, social capital is just as important as financial capital, he said.

“We’re very strategic when it comes to our money and planning for retirement, and maybe not so strategic… when it comes to planning for our social and emotional capital,” Shavit said.

Harvard research shows that it’s not just the number of social connections that matters; “The quality of your close relationships is important,” Waldinger said.

For example, living in conflict is “really bad” for our health, he said in his TED talk. A “high-conflict” marriage without much affection may be worse for health than, for example, divorce, he said.

Plus, loneliness is a subjective experience, he told CNBC. Some people are introverts who may only need one or two significant relationships, for example.

“You can be lonely and have a lot of people around you, or not be lonely and be a hermit in the mountains,” he said.

According to Waldinger, people nearing retirement or retirees who want to assess the quality of their relationships and/or strengthen existing ties can take three steps.

First, ask: Do I have enough people in my life with whom I feel connected? Am I connected to others in the way I want?

“This is true [about] check yourself,” Waldinger said.

Second, evaluate whether you can improve your relationships with the people you already have in your life that you value and enjoy spending time with. Can you do more with what you already have?

This could be anyone: a sibling, friends, or a romantic partner. For example, you can replace screen time with time spent with people, spice up your relationship by doing something new together like long walks or date nights, or reach out to a family member you haven’t spoken to in years. Even talking to someone on the phone, sending a text message or email can help.

“It doesn’t have to be hard work,” Waldinger said.

Third, evaluate whether you can form new connections.

According to Waldinger, one of the easiest and fastest ways to do this is to do something you enjoy or care about with people you don’t already know.

For example, join a gardening club, a political campaign, a church group or a climate change campaign, he said.

“It becomes easier to start conversations with new people because you have something in common,” he added.

The people in the Harvard study who were happiest in retirement were those who actively worked “to replace work colleagues with new playmates,” Waldinger said in his TED talk.

“Relationships are messy and complicated, and the hard work of caring for family and friends is not sexy or glamorous,” he said during his TED talk. “It’s also for life. It never ends.”